It ain’t pink, not tender and soft, it’s been hurt, its seen people get hurt, it’s been taught to defend itself and never show vulnerability, been taught how not to give in and shown only the negative part of giving in yet somehow it keeps searching for the good part, looking out every day to see people who gave in but never got hurt but instead ends up feeling their pain as it is yet to see a true happy ending.
It’s been taught to stand out and never bring such pain to people, to defend and show love, to care and be truthful because it never wants to see people in pain or have to feel their pain, it’s comforting, different and feels like home. It doesn’t expect to get what it gives back, well ain’t that gonna make it vulnerable? All it seeks is appreciation, what it thinks it seeks though.
Deep in that vulnerable part. It seeks to get the love it gives, it seeks to let it all out and see someone try to relate and make an effort to change its experience. It seeks for a chance not to have to defend itself but it’s been taught to see things one way, to relate to the hurt. Who would teach it to let its desires out, how would it recognise the change when it comes? Who would teach it to relate to something other than pain? How would it learn to accept all that it gives to people when they give it back?
One day it would understand, one day it would learn but for now let’s call it blue, let’s call it brown or probably a blue-brown.